Emotional Health:
Are you feeling in control?
Charlie Badenhop  - Published May 5, 2005


When it is all said and done, do you feel like you stay on an 
even keel emotionally most of the time? Here is a story about how 
easy it is to lose one's emotional balance.

Recently, I was coming home from an evening business meeting in 
Tokyo. I walked a block, and like all good citizens do in Japan, 
when I got to the corner and the light was red, I stopped and 
waited for it to turn green before crossing.

Just as the traffic signal turns amber, to warn drivers to slow 
down and stop, a motorcycle and its rider slowly grind to a halt. 
The guy has on a backpack, there is a huge bundle tied to the 
back seat of the bike, and he has other stuff hanging from the 
bike handles. He looks like a homeless person who still has 
enough money to own a bike.

With the bike stops the man uses his feet to balance himself, 
just as riders always do. The only thing different in this case, 
is that the man and his bike are leaning quite heavily to the 
left, as if he has no sense of straight up and down, and can't 
feel the pull of gravity.
He wobbles once... he wobbles twice... and then swoosh... .
The man, his motorcycle, and all of the stuff he is carrying with 
him, slide down to the ground.

My first thought is "Wow, this guy must really be drunk, I better 
get him off his bike and make sure he can't drive for a while." 
As I weigh all the variables that might be involved, I notice 
that everyone else is simply crossing the street as if nothing 
has happened.

As the guy struggles to get back up, the light turns green and 
now cars start to whiz by, and I get worried that he will get 
hit. So as fools often do, I rush in where wise men fear to 
tread.

I say hello in a loud voice to let him know I am nearby. As he 
turns to look, I reach out and take the handlebars and right the 
bike, and walk it over to the side of the road. As I had hoped, 
he follows along after me, dragging his belongings.

I put the kickstand of the bike down, and the guy starts 
apologizing profusely, while also thanking me and pointing out 
how clumsy and foolish he is in general. This act of contrition 
is a lovely art form in Japanese culture. And I must admit, for 
the average Westerner, it takes quite a good deal of trial and 
error practice to reproduce.

I smile at the guy, and playfully ask him if he has had a tough 
night, and a bit too much to drink.
"No, no, nothing at all to drink." he says. "My girlfriend just 
broke up with me, and I am broken hearted. We divided everything 
up as equally as we could. I kept the bike and all the rest of 
what I am carrying. She kept her belongings and the sidecar for 
the bike, which she always rode around in with me. I guess it's 
going to take a while to get used to no longer needing to balance 
her weight."
I nod my head and smile, to signify that I understand what he is 
talking about, and indeed, what he says, somehow really touches 
me.
We look at each other for a moment or two with a sense of 
brotherhood, and then his face suddenly livens up and he says, 
"Now that I think about it, maybe I'm the lucky one. I can still 
get around, but she's left sitting all alone by the side of the 
road!"

***

As human beings we have an emotional system, a physical system, 
an intellectual system, and a spiritual system all working 
together (hopefully!) at the same time.

Homeostasis comes about when the dynamic range that a person's 
multiple systems operate in, create a harmonious balance, and 
flow together at their optimum. Take in enough food to fuel the 
system, but not enough food to overburden the system or give 
yourself a negative emotional image. Take in enough oxygen to 
fuel your creativity and all of your physical activities, but not 
enough to hyperventilate. Depend on a friend or loved one to 
support you, but not to the point that you lose your own sense of 
balance, and self. Life is a balancing act, and as long as we are 
alive, the need to maintain, lose, and once again regain our 
balance, goes on constantly. We don't so much maintain our 
balance as a constant. Much more so we need to lose and regain 
our balance over and over again.

About the author:
Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido
instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist.
Benefit from a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by
subscribing to his complimentary newsletter "Pure heart,
simple mind" at http://www.seishindo.org/anger/index.html

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